The Retrocession

Hurray. Thesis 2nd Draft chiong finished! Stupid thesis. Serious waste of my life. ARGH I AM SO TIRED. SHALL DO MATHS TMR INSTEAD.

Ooh. How lovely. This picture is taken in Sentosa, beside the ancient, mystic Ficus Tree, aka 榕树. Thesis still in process. Hopefully I can get it done by tonight. All work and no sleep makes me a genius, yeah. Finished my 神雕 series the Nth time. Everytime you read it, it’s an all new experience. Maybe that’s what life is about. PRELIMS!  It isn’t a concern actually.

These old men were soldiers for the KMT government, who promised to give them land to farm on once they got to return to the mainland. THEY NEVER DID. Lies are often told to people to support their cause, and also to build up confidence amongst the population. Sometimes it is justifies for them to do so, sometimes it isn’t. But no matter what it instils a faith into them. A FAITH, THAT MAKES THEM STAY LOYAL AND FEEL IMPORTANT TO THE CAUSE.   When the weather turns cold it just feels bad. Really bad, like downcast, glum. Doleful perhaps. Such weathers are great for some boozin’ action. Argh never mind. Ignore me. This old man typing in front of the computer is gonna go mad soon. Follow your dreams Be yourself an angel of kindness There's nothing that you cannot do I believe I believe I believe in you Recollections is bliss. The present is gruesome enough.      =)

Left is Singapore. Right is China. The face damn Guai-lan! Today went to Clarke Quay with Pear. Happy Birthday in advance yo, sister! WE LOVE TAIWAN . =)

Tonight another sleepless night. I guess I shall be used to it. Last year PW also like that, listen to Steve Jobs’ interview until 3am. Really tiring I thought. Now it is in Chinese, and contrary to popular belief, THIS IS SOOOOO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT . It’s really bad taking this subject, I wouldn’t recommend anyone else taking this. So severely disadvantaged, it just disheartenes people. I cannot communicate with the class properly, albeit having 6 ppl only. I cannot communicate with the teacher sometimes, because I don’t understand what he says, and he doesn’t understand what I say. JUST SUCKS . Yeah and for people who still have no idea what kind of thesis I am writing about, it is 《台湾族群意识的变化在多大程度上影响中国政府对台政策的走向》 Ok, I see three lines on your forehead. Simply put, it means how demographics and identity changes in Taiwan causes a change in the Mainland’s policies towards it. Sounds cheem. Damn cheem, Moreover writing 4000 characters. I must have been nuts. It’s quite emo-ish when wri...

One night of deprived sleep makes me SOOOOO tired. I am so tired now, that I cannot even type properly. Do you know what is called 爱国 ? See lah, people hang their flags everywhere. Even Coffee Bean angmoh one also hang flag big bbig in the mall. What are we Singaporeans doing. India scholar: Hail China! Mighty China! Thanks to China I have free LIVE EPL telecast to watch! Oh well. What can we say. Chinese are damn good at imitations and bypassing copyright laws. Sigh.

FAILED PIANO. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. FAILED. Argh this sucks. Met Ken Chew at Starbucks today. Totally missed Maris Stella. Marists are so fun-loving beasts. We are going back to Maris Stella on Monday, 31 Aug. Heck to NJ for banning us from attending school on that day, in the assumed name of STUDYING. FINALLY I FINISHED MY FIRST DRAFT OF CHINA STUDIES THESIS. Today is sleepless. Check the time out now, it’s 5:10am. And the weather is freezing, the wind from the hills is so strong. This is the R.O.C. Constitution. While writing the thesis I just get more and more fed up. First, it’s overdue for two days, and I am rushing it through. And then, while writing, I can see that some historical figures, be it alive or dead, are quite bastard-like. There are many things in History that could have been avoided. If the two sides in confrontation were less stubborn and pride-hungry they could have sol...

OMG NJ students just appeared on Lianhe Zaobao headlines today. “35 students led by 4 teachers visited the Getai at Senoko last night. The teacher-in-charge Yeo Sho Hor says that the College chose Getai as part of their enrichment scheme in order to instil as sense of belonging and rootedness in students.” It’s like, WTF? I think NJ is just trying to boost their media appearance lah. As if these kids will watch Getais on their own. China scholars some more. WHY DO SINGAPOREANS WALK SO SLOW? Nowadays Singapore is getting more and more crowded lor. And so many people liao, our government still want us to keep creating babies. And some people just walk slowly along the road, and they don’t care about people who are in a hurry behind them. Seriously it’s damn irritating lah! Taiwan flooding is damn chia lat now. And their President is useless. The previous President is 谋财. This one is 害命. Luckily we live in Singapore. If Singapore get this kind of government I think we would get swamped ...

Wah today damn tired. I went to Gym with DJL. Freaking tiring!!! Those giant dumbbells sure can crush people lah! Did some Maths today, found myself unusually motivated today. Maybe I am trying to prove to someone that I can DO IT. Or maybe I just wanna chiong for Prelims, which is like, next next Friday. Luckily I don’t take Econs, seriously, or else I have yet another paper to prepare for before the holidays. August~September is a favorite season for babies huh?! I see so many people appearing on my Birthday Calendar. Seemingly my wallet is gonna burst. Very soon, I guess I am gonna go back home already. I would certainly miss NJ Hostel. So much of fun and angst in it. And my emotions just start to turn… more and more… rampage… What’s going on?

I am starting to hate my new blog skin, which is here for about, a week? I am feeling a little racist so I think this color is really spoiling my mood… And it spoils my mood so much that I am actually doing Physics now. For goodness sake, the last time I did a Physics homework was 4 months ago when they taught Quantum Physics, with all those Tunnelling and Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle. Today is our last PE class of my entire life of schooling, unless I fail my GP and come back next year, haha. It’s actually quite possible for me, you know. Since young I really loved PE. Last time in Primary School we play catching and climb around. In Maris Stella we run on the roads, beside all those cemeteries and crematoriums, even during 农历七月, which by the way, starts today! (Yay one month of 歌台s to watch!) Still chionging thesis report ah… Decided to look for stuff regarding toponymy in Taiwan. In case you don’t know what it means, it is just a study of place names lah. Long long time ago, ...

Today is my first-ever experience ponning school entirely, not even appearing in school. I need time to study for the Maths Mock Exam lah, and though I shall harbor high hopes for it, at least I want a Pass to prove my abilities. And I am REALLY REALLY ADDICTED TO STARBUCKS . They are just so cozy and mugger-friendly! 重新拾起准备遗忘的记忆和思绪。这样做，对吗？

明明就不是属于自己的东西，为什么还要一直反复的顾虑，一直做无谓的担忧呢？

This video is about this Indian who is born in Hong Kong and grew up there. He speaks really good Cantonese, and his Hindi is kanasai. It’s quite fun to see such intercultural thing going around, especially in Hong Kong, where it seems to be a Chinese place.

This is a very very LOL and hilarious clip on a Chinese man (the infamous Namewee) trying to open an account in Islamic Banking. Damn stupid, haha. The exchange rate for RM is still droppppppping like mad. It’s S$100=RM242 already… I don’t take Econs, can anyone tell me why their money is more and more valueless?

Just finished watching the National Day Rally in Malay and Chinese. I have no time to watch my English one, because of stupid China Thesis. Sucks, it’s due on Tuesday. And I still have to chiong for my Prelims. I think it’s game over for my Physics already. Physics can go eat shit already. And some teachers in NJ is really damn kaypoh. I get MC or not is my own problem right? I don’t understand why she can be so kaypoh and go tell Miss Wu that I missed GP. She can come and ask me straightaway what, since according to her, she saw me playing piano with North in the canteen. And so, back to life. Spent one night on Sentosa with YEC for Retreat. Definitely better than the Kelong one two years ago, albeit that was an unforgettable experience, after being stuck on an unknown island on the day before A Maths Prelim. But the villa was good lah, got private swimming pool somemore, Wii the whole night, and talk a lot of cock eat a lot of steamboat. Haha a bunch of big bullies bullying a s...

Argh lost a lot of blood today. Had some blood spurting around during PE too. And I didn’t eat anything before 4pm. Now it’s 11pm, I still feel damn dizzy., staggering around my room. Don’t think I am alright for effective lessons tomorrow. See how it goes tomorrow morning. But tomorrow shall be a long day, because it has been one year since Singapore is announced as the host of YOG. See them at the Padang lah! I cannot mug in school lah, just too noisy and too distracting for me.

Imagine a scenario when I am eating Roti Prata. Then accidentally some curry kena smeared over my chin. Then I take the piece of prata to wipe it off. Then put into my mouth. Swallow. What is this prata called? Tissue Prata. Ok. LOL. Today’s Principal talk was kinda interesting. People who have consistent good results will have the “privilege” of enjoying the services of the library and studying peacefully. The those who kanasai (like me) will have extra lessons. Don’t know what the heck she is thinking. But Mr Felix Lim is good lah, he come and console me and gave me some studying tips for Chem. That really made me feel better lor. Because even though I know my Physics like shit but I don’t want to lah… Moreover tomorrow got this stupid Physics consol MCQ test that last 1h 10min long. AND I AM WAITING FOR THE DAY WHEN I BECOME PHYSICS TOP SCORER. HAHAHA XD Basket, Mr Tsang call me Yam Seng, or something like that lah. “Yam Seng, you think the line of regression is x on y, YES OR NO?...

Eh Pornsak has really good attitude and humble personality. And his hair is like MINE !!!   And look at the Giant Flag made of cards behind. It consists of 8000 cards from all over Singapore and we have just broke a record! Today I shall not post in English lah, because I think Chinese can express myself better. Much better, for today especially. I promise I shall die as a Singaporean. So what if my parents wanna migrate to USA/NZ/Australia/Canada. That's their problem. I shall live and die as a Singaporean, even if global warming covers us in saltwater. After every National Day I say so. Yet after every year my 意志 decreases. 今天是我国44周年国庆。在44年前的今天，我国被逐出联邦，从此步上自主自立自强的道路，直到今天。 不知为何，今天在国庆的庆祝活动上如此的high，如此的激动。或许这就是我平常的样子吧，顶多换个场地，从学校换成草场。 但是回想起来，我国能够走到今天确实不容易。大家都在说新加坡是个蕞尔小岛，「小红点」也，经济实力却能够排在好多比新加坡大几十倍的国家的前头，这可以说是我们的国人长期奋斗下来的成就。 现在说到这里，我突然想，为什么现在的青年对国家好像都不热衷，甚至还有来世想当外国人的念头？再换过来想，我又不是在本地出世的，为何我对于新加坡如此的慷慨激昂？这不是一种讽刺，而是一种现实。 有时候我自己也很矛盾。假设有一天，中国吃饱饭没事儿做，打过来了，我是保卫脚下这片长于斯，说不定还要死于斯的土地，还是...

Oh I forgot, yesterday was 立秋, which marks the first day of Autumn in the Lunar Calendar (it's accurate!). Has been doing China thesis since the morning, but progress has been slow and slumber. Like, I don't see much things being added. I so behind time, as compared to those China peeps in my class. Piano ordeal finished, now having thesis, then prelims, then A levels, then... Damn 4 short months. So many things to complete within these 4 months.   Lost from the start, I might as well be on the moon Much colder than I thought even in the month of June But now it's too late, it's taking over me It feels so supernatural and I'm pulled the other way It's more than I can take and I'm losing hold of everything   The only way to de-stress is to run and run and run. Run as fast as you can from one end of Singapore to the other. And run away from all this nonsensical stress you see.

Just finished the National Day Dinner at CCSS. Okay I am not feeling really sober now, but at least I am conscious of what I am typing yeah. Suddenly I just felt very very patriotic. I actually can remember all the National Day Songs, like “Count on me, Singapore” and “One People, One Nation, One Singapore”!!! I seriously is stuck in a confusion. Why am I so 愛國 when people around me aren’t? It’s just kinda weird. We suffer the same types of education and yet harness different attitudes for our mighty nation. This is truly something our government need to ponder about. Today Piano exam like shit lah. Not really in the mood to discuss about it. But Sight Reading is a miracle. And so is Aural. Thanks Kelly for the 孜孜不倦的教誨! It was helpful lah. But I was kinda nervous and 慌 for some parts. Sigh my mental strength still needs improvement. And I need encouragement now. Badly. New improvements in the NJ Boarding School. New security cameras in the Pantry. To obviously prevent people fro...

Ignorance is bliss. How true. There are many things that now I do not feel like knowing about already. Not only it is pointless, it is mind-boggling. And when Yang Sheng says that something can make his brain move, he really means it. I am not gonna gossip stuff over the net lah, not really a good thing to do. But the speed in which NEWS happen to travel around NJ is at light-speed. It’s like everyone somehow knows what is going on, be it 1% or 900% because of some 添油加醋s. Sometimes when I don't say something, it doesn't mean I don't know anything. There are limits to whatever you say. Yeah my mouth is considered quite big le lah, but there are boundaries alright. I am not like some people who would act as a relaying station, passing comments around. At least I sieve. And anyway 若要人不知，除非己莫为. It’s not as if I don’t say then nobody will know. NJ is a very densely populated place. Anyway I am not being 藕断丝连 ok. Please do not anyhow put words over me alright. I have a lot of s...

Oh… My piano exam is on Friday, not Thursday… Great, one more day to practise. But Mother ask me to go home for the weekends+Monday. I don;t want lah, but I don’t have a damned choice! Go home for what? What a waste of time! Happened to know new stuffs going around the school. I shall not explain on what I know lah, but I just feel kinda…. sorry and sympathetic for them? It’s not that kind of 我施舍同情 that kind of feeling lah, but it is just quite sad to see relationships like that end SO abruptly. After all, if there were so many problems in the beginning, why get together in the first place? Hence conclusion is: Know the person right before you hook on him/her. Tomorrow moon is gonna be damn nice, damn big. But today sucks lah, it’s cloudless and hazy. And I am so sadded that the entire NJ Staff Room is talking about my Physics. So what if my results like shit. DO YOU 老人家s SERIOUSLY THINK I WANT TO?! I just didn’t study for it, I shall study the next time ok? Why make such a big fuss...

Damn I have new security cameras installed, in front of my room. That sucks: The Room with that bear looking beast is mine, (my drawing so nice right), and there are three cameras on top of me. WTH is this. This is a boarding school, bukan prison ok. Just got a new haircut. Ok, maybe my piano exam will have a better prospect of passing with this new hairstyle. Hopefully =D Pearlyn, if you see this, I so miss Taiwan ok!!! While doing my thesis I flipped my Taiwan Map and found a lot of places bringing back many many memories… The "Scouts of China” teacher was so cool lah! Argh. I wanna go 鹅銮鼻, hmph…

Ran with a heavy bag today, estimated mass of 7kg, X~N(7,0.5)… All the way to Choa Chu Kang just to get rid of the almost-overdue library books. It sucks to carry such a heavy bag and run. i wonder how those NSmen can tahan doing so. Walking still can lah, but running… Yeeyer..! Piano exams in 4 days, still playing like shit. Articulation, coherence, tempo and even accuracy are all not there yet. Am I being over-confident, or over-pessimistic? ARGH. Why I have so much crap recently?!?! My life is always screwed during the Autumns… Sec 2 kena call parents for crap, Sec 3 even worse, Sec 4 got serious tensions at home, J1 too busy to have all these shit and now I have all these shit back again. Actually it seems that by being very very busy one can put all his troubles and 烦恼s to the back of the brain, or maybe even out of it. I donno what I am constantly fed-up at but people always say I got the very very fed-up face and always seem to wanna beat someone up. Walau eh people face born ...

Work. Work. Work. Staying at BPP Starbucks for a long long time. To mug. To complete my GP homework. Miss Wu gave us this very interesting passage on the statehood and identity of Singaporeans from Hwachong. Gonna try the AQ, ‘cos it sounds fun, heh. I am gonna open a 煮炒 stall with Jia Qiang next time. Java Chip has never been so delicious before; the jelly taste weird. And Chai means Tea. Neh. Can someone douse the cigarette on top of  the bin? It stinks like shit.