投笔从戎·头必从容 persona terpilih
16 Ways To Identify Someone Who Is “Selectively Social” by Tenzin Woesel
1. You are very frank and loud at home or when you are with your friends but you turn into a timid shy ball when you are with people you hardly know.
2. You are the entertainer in your friends circle but you hate it when your friends expect you to entertain in front of a crowd of strangers.
3. You are very close to just one or two friends among your friends circle. With the rest of the friends in your circle, you are comfortable being you but you are not too close.
4. There’s an uncertainty when you agree to keep in touch with people. There are days when you want to talk to people yet there are days when you don’t want to talk to anyone.
5. When your friends ask you to join them for an outing, the first thing you ask is; “Who all are going?” and the answer is always, always a BIG influence on your decision.
6. You try your best to avoid having a conversation with people and hence, you stay away as far as you can from your next door neighbor, class mates, colleagues and friends of friends.
7. You enjoy being alone rather than hanging out with a bunch of people… but you become one of them if you join.
8. You hate it when people start complaining how boring you and your life are. When others plan for a freaking weekend partying, shopping and movies, all you look forward to is, a stay-at-home weekend, doing nothing much, but just relax, read a book, write articles and dance to the blaring music with your pajamas on.
9. You cannot forgive yourself for inviting people to your home. Most of the time, you care the least about modesties but sometimes, “You can visit my place when you want to” slips off your mouth and all you do is, regret. Just regret. You will then think of every possible excuse to give when they say they are visiting you.
10. You hate it when your girlfriend or boyfriend has an out-going personality and you always get tagged ‘my lifeless girlfriend/boyfriend’. And if you are a single like me, your dream partner is not somebody who gets annoyed when you make no plans for hangouts and movies but somebody who loves staying at home spending quality time with you.
11. You love being around people you are close with but most of the time you cherish solitude. It’s not that you never want to be with people but at the same time it’s not that you want to stay alone always. Nobody can or will ever understand your behavior just as you yourself cannot.
12. You can stay mysteriously unplugged for weeks on end. There are days you talk to people a lot and there are days when you don’t even respond to their text messages and calls.
13. You fear getting close to people. Sometimes you get along with a person very well but there comes a point where you think you are getting close to that somebody and you disconnect immediately for a long time. Getting attached to people isn’t your cup of tea.
14. You fancy the idea of partying with people but you don’t want to go to parties even if all the friends in your circle are going. You hate to turn down an invitation because you don’t want to upset people but your solitude weighs more than that for you.
15. There’s nothing more annoying than having an out-going person as your company. They can get on your nerves, talk to you about topics you least care and will persuade you to accompany them out on days you want to stay at home doing nothing. They will keep you waiting on the way while they talk to everyone they meet. Just because they smile and talk to everyone, you are seen crystal clear as ‘the contrast’.
16. To those people who don’t know you; you are and will remain that ‘grumpy, rude and anti-social person’ which in reality we aren’t.
一场滂沱大雨，浇灭了不久前心里的那阵愉悦。熬了一年，眼见使命已成，自己可以功成身退，突然间又有新的使命到来。
I really need to learn to say NO.
But it's really hard.
Especially hard when there are so many expectations around.
"You are a person with determination."
"You're capable!"
"You how UPZ/POPZ/HIPZ/POWER...!"
殊不知，倔强的人会坚持直至成功，也会坚持直到再次失败。
我并不是一个倔强的人。
我更会在我关爱的人面前逞强，在关爱我的人面前示弱。
自我牺牲，并不一定要牺牲自我，但是我们却往往通过牺牲自己来化解自己所厌恶的孤独。
那张疯狂的面具还能 last 多久，我也不知道。
不过无所谓，反正 camp season 马上就来了，又可以两个礼拜随便搞搞震了。
有时候觉得自己好贪心，一直在剥夺别人寻求成功的权利，但是自己始终放弃不了那种所谓的自豪感。
其实那根本不是什么自豪感，只是面子在作祟罢了。
要戒掉贪心，不必我知足，只需我失足。
还看今朝。
