My time is up (1): 背景
I promised that this series of posts will be in Chinese but after a second thought, it might just be more practical to keep it bilingual as it always have been. But of course the juicier parts are in Chinese. Too bad, English is way more culturally and emotionally more deficient than any of the vernacular tongues in Singapore.
The government ask you to be bilingual so that you do not become CULTURALLY EMPTY. 不要以为自己会讲英语就西北厉害，结果一点礼义廉耻都不晓得，纵使腰缠万贯又有何用呢？
This will be Part 1 of a 5-part series on my journey as the JCRC President in Eusoff Hall. Since the JCRC Elections have yet to begin, I will not delve into whatever happened in the past year （他妈的要不然等一下吓死人，大家都不愿意出来参选了，我不是要变成千古罪人？） but instead share a bit more about what have happened in the past and the reasons why I chose to serve in the JCRC the third time. Since I am slightly more stupid than all of you, because I needed six years to graduate, this post will be slightly longer than any other post.
放心，我会为我写的内容负责。故事里的人物姓名已经过处理，如有雷同…… 那就雷同咯！
I be honest, I never knew Eusoff Hall existed in the first 20 years of my life. To be honest, the Hall’s publicity back then sucked. And during my time in Army 资讯没有今天这么发达，更没有什么微信、LINE, Whatsapp, the only hall I knew then in NUS was the Naughty Hall. So I applied for Naughty Hall’s exposure camp hoping that the poor Simei me can have a abode of naughtiness on campus, but I guess after submitting my photo to them it was decided that I did not look naughty enough.
So there was a Swimmer Tan that introduced me to Eusoff Hall. He randomly passed the JCRC President’s number so I texted him and got into Eusoff’s Exposure Camp, modelled after Hunger Games.
NOTE: it has been deemed that privately messaging the President is very not transparent （他妈的林北每年给人讲闲话） so do not try this in 2018.
So the year started with me enjoying the Hall with my new found friends whom I really call Bros. Like really. And that was the time where we went to eat Al-Ameen (note the name, not “Amaan” yet) almost every night, 他妈的林北天天吃 Butter Chicken 吃到要吐, and OH YES did I mention that the Swimmer Tan applied to Naughty Hall? Oh well, but he is a nice guy so okay lah haha.
I took up Cheerleading, Badminton, Auditing and Track in my first year. Honestly I thought I was quite active in the CCAs, but I didn’t really understand the CCA Points structure and Architecture took up THE BULK OF MY LIFE (though I sucked), so I missed being able to stay in Hall for the second year by a mere 2 points.
(Regarding points system I will elaborate next time, for now just assume that I am being whiny about it for being unfair lah).
This new JCRC didn’t start out as a complete one. Many roles were uncontested. The question is…. WHY?
2014 was the year when Eusoff Hall lost the Inter-Hall Games. This loss is extremely important because it is when I told myself that this “Sports Hall” / ”Culture Hall” / ”Family Hall” / “Clubbing Hall” / whatever hall rhetoric is bullshit. Reasons:
1. I do not agree that a Hall can simply be defined by any word.
2. So what if you win but cannot study? Would you enjoy greater job prospects with an IHG gold medal but poor results? Do you know why your parents paid for your university education?
3. The Halls of NUS are build behind the idea of holistic learning (at least that was what Dato’ Eusoff wanted the Halls to be when he created this system), so I think the main idea why we should promote sports in Hall is not just sportsmanship but also the ideas of discipline and teamwork.
When Eusoff Hall lost the Championship after 7 consecutive years, everyone was at a loss. It was as if the Hall was some beautiful unicorn with a really really nice skin labelled “IHG Champions”, and when you have the skin forcibly removed after losing the championship, all you see is just skeleton—他妈的一点内涵都没有, there is no substance inside at all! And I really attribute it to the belief of this “Sports Hall” rhetoric. And which is why for the next few years I made sure I tear down this belief. Obviously I can’t do it myself, but I am glad that the JCRCs that I have served in tend to think in tandem with me.
My year as a Student Affairs Director was kind of… meh, because I didn’t have much experience and I continued to think too much about how people viewed me. I really was not very effective in trying to push what I promised through. So I decided to run for JCRC again, to “make up” for my inability to make Eusoff Hall a better place in my first attempt.
I ran for Vice-President, this time at the expense of my Student Exchange Programme to Shanghai. I am very sure, that if I had gone to Shanghai, my life would have taken a very different trajectory. But anyway this move was a risky one, because it was a three-way fight for two Vice-President positions.
As mentioned earlier I really don’t like to burn bridges and don’t like competition amongst friends. I guess that communist in me made me a more “consensus” person rather than “competitive” one, which explains why I am not exactly very fond of democracy. I wanted to make sure that there wasn’t any competition, I actually tried to make sure there were no competitors before I submitted my nomination forms. But in the end 他妈的 still got 3 contestants. Critics like Ming will disagree with me, but I really felt awkward during this election because we are all friends. 我真的会很不好意思。And I was really kiasu during this election because I gave up my exchange for this—I better win if not 不止输了里子也输了面子呀！
I won eventually with quite a huge margin, but this time I wanted to make sure I do a better job. The job scope of a Vice-President in Eusoff Hall involves marketing and sponsorship, and I am proud to say that I brought it to a much higher level than it was before. 可能因为我比较不要脸？
Talking about 不要脸 I took up the role of Team Manager for a very disciplined sport that year too. During Exposure Camp that year a freshwoman was accused of inflict physical injuries on a senior and the whole story escalated because some kaypoh elements in hall decided to stalk the freshwoman’s profile and judge/criticise on her behaviour.
WHICH IS SOMETHING I CANNOT CONDONE.
During my freshman orientation in a particular camp where the participants are generally nice people and the cheers are generally clean, I was accused of molestation. I wouldn’t deny that, because during this particular intense game where we needed to grab clothes-pegs off people’s sleeves, I put my fingers in someone’s sleeves to get it out. It wasn’t intentional, and until today I don’t know who the “victim” is, whether the “victim” is plural or singlar, whether I really touched anywhere I shouldn’t, and whether I am the only person who was being accused.
Instead of listening to my explanation (or offering me any), assuming I was really a perpetrator because I was very active and vocal during the camp, I was shouted right across the pavilion in Sentosa in front of more than a hundred students. Okay lah, I think probably I really outraged the modesty of the victim(s) so I apologised.
And I thought the saga was over, I naively signed up for one of their charity events in August. Guess what, I was invited out of the first meeting by their Club President because one of the “victims” were there as well and she felt uncomfortable seeing me. 他妈的到今天为止我连她（们）是谁都不知道， but I really learnt a big big big big lesson. I was effectively barred from the CCA until 2015, when I became a Councillor for their orientation camp that year.
Given this experience I cannot accept anyone who judge others without knowing the person well enough.
I wrote a blogpost (click here and scroll down) about it before and thus I must emphasis this again,
My 直觉 tells me that she isn’t a bad person and it is only right that I help to clear her name. With this mindset in mind and bearing heated arguments with various Eusoff leaders, I took the leap of faith by insisting in accepting this freshwoman into the Hall. To assure people that she will behave well in Hall I decided to take up the role of Team Manager of the main sport she plays. Okay lah to be honest 我这么做也是因为我自己也无法完全相信自己的直觉啦，他妈的我的 reputation at stake leh…
But I was right after all. #nuffsaid
After my fourth year in Eusoff Hall I left for Tainan for my Student Exchange. Well it was a shitty place but I guess I became more mature. Many things happened in my personal life during this transition period and I guess I can say 我看开了很多事情, many things that used to bother me no longer mattered.
I returned to Eusoff Hall, where we took back the Inter-Hall Games Championship. Things were improving as compared to my initial years here, but one day during dinner, this freshman Nilam pointed to the Hall crest in the dining hall and said to me,
This year is also one where a considerable number of seniors are leaving the Hall, so leadership succession was a great issue. Notwithstanding the orientation saga that some of us went through （他妈的这个等林北毕业之后慢慢叙述）, there were obviously some things we need to preserve in the Hall. Since it is the 60th anniversary of the Hall, the perfectionist in me wanted the Hall to go swee swee and that was the reason why I chose to run for JCRC President.
The election was probably the tightest one Eusoff has ever seen and to be honest I did not expect to win at all. In fact I made a very good Plan B already. Ming was “impressed” at my calmness this year, and I think 这一次我是真的豁出去了，而且我反正没有任何后顾之忧，选到OK，没有选到没差，我还是可以做我喜欢的事情。Well my chao ahbeng image sucked but… I guess those who believed in me chose to look at other qualities I could offer. 结果我他妈的还是赢了，二十多票不是很多，但是真的非常感谢各位的信任，也希望这一年来我没有辜负众人期望。
Okay this is the end of my abridged 6-year long grandmother story （林北写到累了）, I hope these background info should be sufficient for you to understand certain behaviours and life attitudes I have in Hall and stayed tuned for my next post as I talk about my OCD in Hall.
The government ask you to be bilingual so that you do not become CULTURALLY EMPTY. 不要以为自己会讲英语就西北厉害，结果一点礼义廉耻都不晓得，纵使腰缠万贯又有何用呢？
This will be Part 1 of a 5-part series on my journey as the JCRC President in Eusoff Hall. Since the JCRC Elections have yet to begin, I will not delve into whatever happened in the past year （他妈的要不然等一下吓死人，大家都不愿意出来参选了，我不是要变成千古罪人？） but instead share a bit more about what have happened in the past and the reasons why I chose to serve in the JCRC the third time. Since I am slightly more stupid than all of you, because I needed six years to graduate, this post will be slightly longer than any other post.
放心，我会为我写的内容负责。故事里的人物姓名已经过处理，如有雷同…… 那就雷同咯！
I be honest, I never knew Eusoff Hall existed in the first 20 years of my life. To be honest, the Hall’s publicity back then sucked. And during my time in Army 资讯没有今天这么发达，更没有什么微信、LINE, Whatsapp, the only hall I knew then in NUS was the Naughty Hall. So I applied for Naughty Hall’s exposure camp hoping that the poor Simei me can have a abode of naughtiness on campus, but I guess after submitting my photo to them it was decided that I did not look naughty enough.
So there was a Swimmer Tan that introduced me to Eusoff Hall. He randomly passed the JCRC President’s number so I texted him and got into Eusoff’s Exposure Camp, modelled after Hunger Games.
NOTE: it has been deemed that privately messaging the President is very not transparent （他妈的林北每年给人讲闲话） so do not try this in 2018.
 |
| My Exposure Camp, 2012. |
So the year started with me enjoying the Hall with my new found friends whom I really call Bros. Like really. And that was the time where we went to eat Al-Ameen (note the name, not “Amaan” yet) almost every night, 他妈的林北天天吃 Butter Chicken 吃到要吐, and OH YES did I mention that the Swimmer Tan applied to Naughty Hall? Oh well, but he is a nice guy so okay lah haha.
I took up Cheerleading, Badminton, Auditing and Track in my first year. Honestly I thought I was quite active in the CCAs, but I didn’t really understand the CCA Points structure and Architecture took up THE BULK OF MY LIFE (though I sucked), so I missed being able to stay in Hall for the second year by a mere 2 points.
(Regarding points system I will elaborate next time, for now just assume that I am being whiny about it for being unfair lah).
Now I have to say something about Cheerleading. It really really took up a lot of my time but it is truly the one that left me the most and best impression. It was really the most bonded CCA that I have joined thus far. The friends I made there were genuine enough for me to be willing to spend more time and energy with. Even though it was pretty small and weak team I think it was a CCA that truly required teamwork and responsibility. It’s just a pity that Cheerleading could not fit into what Eusoff and Temasek Halls aspired to be back then.
 |
| I really really was the Base okay. |
Okay I realised I would have six long years to write about and I am kinda getting lazy. So I’ll cut the story short. I basically got really active in my second year, charting 111 points that year, higher than anyone else. In fact if I gave you half my points I still could be able to stay for the next year. I would dare say this was the year that I found out the most about myself:
1. I like hogging work for myself, because I cannot trust people.
2. I was not open to other cultures, and I am quite anti-agency; I don’t believe in being liberal.
3. If I knew something I would know A LOT about it; conversely if I don’t know about something I REALLY DUNNO SHIT.
4. I am a perfectionist. Probably that’s the reason why I quit Architecture.
5. I do not like to get into open confrontations and would try very hard to appease people.
6. And I hate being praised, because it brings you nowhere.
2. I was not open to other cultures, and I am quite anti-agency; I don’t believe in being liberal.
3. If I knew something I would know A LOT about it; conversely if I don’t know about something I REALLY DUNNO SHIT.
4. I am a perfectionist. Probably that’s the reason why I quit Architecture.
5. I do not like to get into open confrontations and would try very hard to appease people.
6. And I hate being praised, because it brings you nowhere.
I will address some of these points in my next few posts. Stay tuned.
At the end of my second year (April 2014, in case you didn’t realise), I decided to run for the role of Student Affairs Director. In other halls they would have called it Welfare Director, but I guess people assumed that I would have affairs with everyone in Hall. And probably that’s why I won with quite a high percentage?
This new JCRC didn’t start out as a complete one. Many roles were uncontested. The question is…. WHY?
2014 was the year when Eusoff Hall lost the Inter-Hall Games. This loss is extremely important because it is when I told myself that this “Sports Hall” / ”Culture Hall” / ”Family Hall” / “Clubbing Hall” / whatever hall rhetoric is bullshit. Reasons:
1. I do not agree that a Hall can simply be defined by any word.
2. So what if you win but cannot study? Would you enjoy greater job prospects with an IHG gold medal but poor results? Do you know why your parents paid for your university education?
3. The Halls of NUS are build behind the idea of holistic learning (at least that was what Dato’ Eusoff wanted the Halls to be when he created this system), so I think the main idea why we should promote sports in Hall is not just sportsmanship but also the ideas of discipline and teamwork.
When Eusoff Hall lost the Championship after 7 consecutive years, everyone was at a loss. It was as if the Hall was some beautiful unicorn with a really really nice skin labelled “IHG Champions”, and when you have the skin forcibly removed after losing the championship, all you see is just skeleton—他妈的一点内涵都没有, there is no substance inside at all! And I really attribute it to the belief of this “Sports Hall” rhetoric. And which is why for the next few years I made sure I tear down this belief. Obviously I can’t do it myself, but I am glad that the JCRCs that I have served in tend to think in tandem with me.
My year as a Student Affairs Director was kind of… meh, because I didn’t have much experience and I continued to think too much about how people viewed me. I really was not very effective in trying to push what I promised through. So I decided to run for JCRC again, to “make up” for my inability to make Eusoff Hall a better place in my first attempt.
I ran for Vice-President, this time at the expense of my Student Exchange Programme to Shanghai. I am very sure, that if I had gone to Shanghai, my life would have taken a very different trajectory. But anyway this move was a risky one, because it was a three-way fight for two Vice-President positions.
As mentioned earlier I really don’t like to burn bridges and don’t like competition amongst friends. I guess that communist in me made me a more “consensus” person rather than “competitive” one, which explains why I am not exactly very fond of democracy. I wanted to make sure that there wasn’t any competition, I actually tried to make sure there were no competitors before I submitted my nomination forms. But in the end 他妈的 still got 3 contestants. Critics like Ming will disagree with me, but I really felt awkward during this election because we are all friends. 我真的会很不好意思。And I was really kiasu during this election because I gave up my exchange for this—I better win if not 不止输了里子也输了面子呀！
 |
| Thank you very much for your kind words. You were (and still are) a source of my strength. |
I won eventually with quite a huge margin, but this time I wanted to make sure I do a better job. The job scope of a Vice-President in Eusoff Hall involves marketing and sponsorship, and I am proud to say that I brought it to a much higher level than it was before. 可能因为我比较不要脸？
Talking about 不要脸 I took up the role of Team Manager for a very disciplined sport that year too. During Exposure Camp that year a freshwoman was accused of inflict physical injuries on a senior and the whole story escalated because some kaypoh elements in hall decided to stalk the freshwoman’s profile and judge/criticise on her behaviour.
WHICH IS SOMETHING I CANNOT CONDONE.
During my freshman orientation in a particular camp where the participants are generally nice people and the cheers are generally clean, I was accused of molestation. I wouldn’t deny that, because during this particular intense game where we needed to grab clothes-pegs off people’s sleeves, I put my fingers in someone’s sleeves to get it out. It wasn’t intentional, and until today I don’t know who the “victim” is, whether the “victim” is plural or singlar, whether I really touched anywhere I shouldn’t, and whether I am the only person who was being accused.
Instead of listening to my explanation (or offering me any), assuming I was really a perpetrator because I was very active and vocal during the camp, I was shouted right across the pavilion in Sentosa in front of more than a hundred students. Okay lah, I think probably I really outraged the modesty of the victim(s) so I apologised.
And I thought the saga was over, I naively signed up for one of their charity events in August. Guess what, I was invited out of the first meeting by their Club President because one of the “victims” were there as well and she felt uncomfortable seeing me. 他妈的到今天为止我连她（们）是谁都不知道， but I really learnt a big big big big lesson. I was effectively barred from the CCA until 2015, when I became a Councillor for their orientation camp that year.
Given this experience I cannot accept anyone who judge others without knowing the person well enough.
I wrote a blogpost (click here and scroll down) about it before and thus I must emphasis this again,
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
My 直觉 tells me that she isn’t a bad person and it is only right that I help to clear her name. With this mindset in mind and bearing heated arguments with various Eusoff leaders, I took the leap of faith by insisting in accepting this freshwoman into the Hall. To assure people that she will behave well in Hall I decided to take up the role of Team Manager of the main sport she plays. Okay lah to be honest 我这么做也是因为我自己也无法完全相信自己的直觉啦，他妈的我的 reputation at stake leh…
But I was right after all. #nuffsaid
After my fourth year in Eusoff Hall I left for Tainan for my Student Exchange. Well it was a shitty place but I guess I became more mature. Many things happened in my personal life during this transition period and I guess I can say 我看开了很多事情, many things that used to bother me no longer mattered.
I returned to Eusoff Hall, where we took back the Inter-Hall Games Championship. Things were improving as compared to my initial years here, but one day during dinner, this freshman Nilam pointed to the Hall crest in the dining hall and said to me,
"Eusoff Hall has all the excellence, but harmony... not so much..."
This year is also one where a considerable number of seniors are leaving the Hall, so leadership succession was a great issue. Notwithstanding the orientation saga that some of us went through （他妈的这个等林北毕业之后慢慢叙述）, there were obviously some things we need to preserve in the Hall. Since it is the 60th anniversary of the Hall, the perfectionist in me wanted the Hall to go swee swee and that was the reason why I chose to run for JCRC President.
The election was probably the tightest one Eusoff has ever seen and to be honest I did not expect to win at all. In fact I made a very good Plan B already. Ming was “impressed” at my calmness this year, and I think 这一次我是真的豁出去了，而且我反正没有任何后顾之忧，选到OK，没有选到没差，我还是可以做我喜欢的事情。Well my chao ahbeng image sucked but… I guess those who believed in me chose to look at other qualities I could offer. 结果我他妈的还是赢了，二十多票不是很多，但是真的非常感谢各位的信任，也希望这一年来我没有辜负众人期望。
 |
| Okay 啦，我们他妈的都是一群西北 intense 的人，有没有？ |
