The Retrocession

Well this is the end of Week 13, the end of the instructional period in NUS. It was indeed very daring of me to leave Singapore during this week because I think everyone knows that this week is like the MOST CHIONG week in the semester. Essays, exam hints, etc. Well I really need a break off all these shit in the little red dot . Not that the little red dot is shit, but many people (and things they do) in the red dot is shit. 全部都带赛！ Anyway, I made a couple of so-called “brave decisions” in this trip. It isn’t really “brave” per se, but I guess you won’t make the same irrational choice as me if you were in my shoes: 1. Use AirBnB I know it is a bit DUH, but you know what, 凡是都有第一次的嘛…… 林北又不是没有钱，第一次送给它咯…… It’s pretty interesting anyway, I stayed with this old couple, who told me that they too were virgins in AirBnB and I was their first guest. They picked me up from the airport. And I left my laptop in the plane. So we went back to the airport again, and back home. And then f...

一年前差不多这个时候，我写了篇有关宿舍里发生的一件事的 文章 。 事过境迁，我以为我抛开了从前的狭隘、固执，殊不知现在的自己依然顽固不化，只是体现的方式变了。 自己浑然不知，在别人眼中却一目了然。 这几天大家都在谈论老李的功过。 爱他的，说没有他，就没有新加坡今日的繁荣。 恨他的，说有了他，导致我国华文教育的没落。 信之者恒信，不信者恒不信。 对我而言，李先生最大的特点就是他的固执。他凡事敢做敢当，问之无愧，什么“打压华教”、“鼓吹精英主义”等等帽子你随便盖，他都不当一回事。 固执，其实不错吧？ 老李的固执，成就了一个繁荣的新加坡。他固执，but he has brains。 林北的固执，不知道成就了什么，只知道会让自己承受不必要的代价。 还是那句话：屁股没有那么大，就别坐那么大的椅子。 也许我还太嫩。

It's over, finally over. The holidays was a tough one, many things occurred, many things changed. There were many new discoveries, and far more surprises. The Drama/Dance Productions ended last night. It's my second attempt to appear on stage. It was a difficult journey. 英文烂、台词少、晚上累，两个多月生病三次。 The rehearsal process was..... kinda painful too. Everything was so foreign to me, but I insisted on expecting the best out of myself. Obviously, I failed. The BEST, never existed. The BEAST, probably. “每个人都有自己的梦想，”这句话其实是废话。 你妈的，谁从小没有梦想，除非你 IQ 低于 15。 我做事通常只看结果，不看过程。 我其实不管你过程有多么险峻、多么艰辛，只要达到应有的效果，你怎样做（英谚 by hook or by crook）我都不在乎。 殊不知 DP 不是你一个人在演，群体的成长才能衬托出自己的进步。 这道理我两周前才懂得，索性无伤大雅，还来得及。 公演结束，林北真的 累 了。 I don't really wanna do anything for now. For I need my personal space and time. 无论如何，马太福音第七章有云： "Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured ...

It's been a while since I am here. Two months of school sure has been very strenuous on me indeed. But it's okay I am surviving well. Many friends around me seem to have relationship difficulties these days. When I look at them I always thought about my own experience (note, it's singular , contrary to popular belief haha) more than two years ago. It was a difficult time for me, simply because I was inexperienced. I thought I had put all my effort into maintaining the relationship. Apparently She harboured other thoughts, which I didn't take into account, perhaps I was too naive and unrealistic. My Love by Hebe In June 2012 I wrote an article, and I think it still holds true today. Would like to share with you guys: 分手的理由千百种，只要其中有一方并不想分开，或没有被善待，任何原因都会被归纳为最烂的理由。例如： “我们个性不适合！” “我发觉自己配不上你！” “你会碰到更好的人！” “我的能力不够，无法给你幸福！” …… 以上听起来的确像是借口，但至少它不伤人，比起 “我从来没有爱过你！” 这个理由，要温和很多。  面对分手的残酷时刻，因为依依不舍而伤心难过的人，往往都忘了：当初开始相爱的时候，往往没有任何理由，就只是很单纯的喜欢而已。分手，其实也不需要任何理由，就只是很单纯的不爱了啊。若...

Today marks the end of my series of crazy events this summer holidays. I don't really know how to put it, but I am really having mixed feelings about it. A month-long trip to Israel, a series of orientation camps, Rag and Flag, and external commitments have gnawed up my life. I have simply no time left for all my friends, family and my loved one; at some point of time I was really about to break down. It wasn't about my lack of ability. It was the problem of not having enough time for everything. It seemed that everything I did this holidays was diluted work--a cup of Milo Dinosaur becoming 5 cups of Milo with half a cup of ice. I don't really regret my decisions, but for once if I were given the choice to choose again, I wouldn't have taken up so many diiferent commitments. I feel very passionate indeed, but now to think of it, it was actually very selfish of me to do so. While I get the "fun" and "kick" of occupying so many different posts,...

Camp laojiao simply means that I have attended many camps. I may have a lot of experience in doing camps, but this Arts Camp gave me not just 5 days of thrill; it's a spirit that probably would last for my lifetime. I left for Israel for a month after my finals, and I've only met my S1 OGL Chun Aik once for like.... 5 mins? The very next time we met was the night before the camp where I see so many new faces and chant unknown cheers. The Hokkien cheers are really simple but those English ones were simply tongue-twisters to this foreign tongue. It was kinda awkward at first, I have to admit. All the councillors and OGLs are younger than me and were much more 斯文 than me. I really doubted my ability to be able to mingle with them. Would they judge me because I left Archi? Would they feel that I 倚老卖老 when it comes to bonding and cheering? Would they make me do all the saikang? It turns out that this team of S1 "seniors" are as fun and chatty as I do. Okay...

I made a crazy decision last summer (go click on the link if you don't know what I'm talking about). And I have to say, I am not regretting it. Okay, I never regret anything. But it has indeed a good choice, not because I can get better grades (though it keeps me very happy indeed), but because I can chase a dream. Since young I loved things related to the humanities: History, Geography, Politics, Arts. Minus literature. It came upon me when I entered in to JC, "Study Arts got future meh." So I went took Science stream, PCM + China Studies. Guess what happened. 0 percentile, 26/100, U everywhere. Okay lah. 不是学校的错啦，自己无心向学罢了。 没有后悔啦，因为学了很多别的。 So I was in Archi. This time round not 无心向学, but 有心无力. No one was teaching me anything. And I can't understand what is going on. Perhaps I couldn't think out of the box, but whatever I think was kinda farfetched too. I thought I could put my heritage knowledge to good use. But I guess I wasn't wh...

Wonder how many people actually blog (and read blogs) these days, but just felt the urge of doing so suddenly. I was looking at someone's blog and saw her (hint hint, actually you know who you are) rather happy life. For once, I felt so H A P P Y for her. Perhaps that's true friendship . Like I never felt this way before. When I saw her pictures I actually hoped wished that she has been enjoying her life, and for once I didn't have a single tinge of jealousy . No I'm not, at all. [To this friend, please take care of yourself okay! Although I don't see you all the time I would love knowing that you have a great life and as a friend I really really really wish the BEST for you. Pardon my English my vocab is limited but I doubt you'd have understood my Chinese anyway!] I was surprised too. I guess I have matured once again. What people call metamorphosis, which is meant for 6-legged creatures, so I'll use the Chinese term instead, 蜕变 . Sounds nicer anywa...

I felt so ashamed at myself when I realised my mistake: to laugh at Malaysia using bomohs to located the missing aeroplane. MH370 that is. In a modern society today we would find it amusing that our neighbours up north was not able to find an aeroplane after days of search and need to resort to spiritual means. Many, including myself, would find it a mockery. I was doing my essay, on some colonisation issues and was focusing on the history of British Malaya. Malaya in those days was a land of abundance, almost like paradise. One may even argue that the people then enjoyed more freedom than they had today in Malaysia, too. It led me to think of the development of cultures in the Malay Peninsula. Bomohs are a form of shamanism. It entails a cultural identity to the Malays, mostly the traditional ones. Of course many say that bomohs are un-Islamic, but then again they existed before the arrival of the religion, and transformed along with it. Instead of mocking at our broth...

生活里会遇到很多不公的事情，也会遇到很多让你无法接受的人。 与其抱怨别人没有给予我，不如我先多多给予人； 与其抱怨诚信缺失，不如播撒诚信； 与其抱怨人情淡薄，不如散发热情； 与其抱怨善良缺失，不如播下善种。 与其抱怨， 不如行动； 与其言教， 不如身行。