The Retrocession

Haven’t been here for a while; it’s been close to two months since I last updated anything. Well, life still goes on with or without you anyway, it is what you choose to do that is going to make the difference. Life is about making choices. I have therefore failed in life, for that matter. It is pointless crying over spilt milk. Worse still, the spilt milk turned sour and left this lingering stench which the perpetrator needs to “sort it out”. 原來你是 我最想留住的幸運 原來我們 和愛情曾經靠得那麼近 那為我對抗世界的決定 那陪我淋的雨 一幕幕都是你 一塵不染的真心 與你相遇 好幸運 可我也失去 為你淚流滿面的權利 但願在我看不到的天際 你張開了雙翼 遇見你的註定 她會有多幸運 It is fate. This is fate. Aku berdosa. Tidak diampuni.

很多人都说男人是用下半身思考的动物，其实这句话并不完全正确。当他身边的女人给不了他幸福的时候，他就会用大脑思考，把这个女人化为他心里可以甘心割舍的殖民地了。 Sometimes, love is like sashimi. You don't feel sad when you cut it into smaller pieces, you don't feel sad when you devour them. You only feel sad when you realise you only have one piece of sashimi left on your plate, which cost you $35. Learn to give and take. If not please leave.

最美好的相处平衡，就是有人冷静，有人热情，并且愿意为对方改变那可以改变的一点点。 时间不会为你静止。 Time waits for no man, and woman.

有偏见的人，自然认为他们的偏见就不算是偏见，如果我们硬说是偏见，那是我们自己有偏见，应该是这样理解的。 付出才是真正的快乐。无论任何领域，只要把份内工作当作回馈，生命即变得有价值，有使命感。 放下过去，和自己和解。当我们对别人有所不满，其实真正反映的是自己的脆弱；当我们觉得别人都对不起自己，其实是自己从未善待过自己。 埋怨与妒恨，只会让自己的人生包袱变得沉重；彻底卸下心防，才是王道。

Was lamenting the loss of my socks. Well you know, it's pretty irritating if you lose ONE sock. I wouldn't mind losing a pair; I could always buy a new pair. But just ONE? How about trying my luck at Sungei Road? 人生最懒叫的事莫过于袜子不见了。不见一双也就算了，不见一条却甚是可恶。Sometimes the dryer completes its mission before I could rescue my clothes. Some lousy Samaritan attempts to rescue them, but leaves one or two socks behind. 没错，就是这么硬生生地把它们拆散。 刹那想到 《神雕侠侣》 里，女魔头李莫愁因爱生恨，将陆家灭门之后，把陆展元和妻子何沅君的骨灰挖出来，分别埋进华山、倒入东海，使两者永世不得相见： 武三通突然喝道：“李莫愁，我要问你一句话，陆展元和何沅君的尸首，你弄到那里去了？”李莫愁陡然听到陆展元和何沅君的名字，全身一颤，脸上肌肉抽动，说道：“都烧成灰啦。 一个的骨灰散在华山之巅，一个的骨灰倒入了东海，叫他二人永生永世不得聚首。 ” 众人听她如此咬牙切齿的说话，怨毒之深，当真是刻骨铭心，无不心下暗惊。 ………… 这时四周树木着火，噼噗之声大作，热气越来越是难以忍受。黄蓉道：“大伙先退向东北角石山上再说。”各人奔上斜坡，眼见屋宇连绵，已尽数卷入烈火之中。 李莫愁被点中了穴道，虽能行走，武功却半点施展不出，暗自运气，想悄悄冲开穴道，乘人不防便突然发难，纵然伤不了敌人，自己却可脱身逃走。那知真气一动，胸口小腹之中立时剧痛，忍不住“啊”的一声叫了出来。她遍身受了情花之刺，先前还仗真气护身，花毒一时不致发作，这时穴道受制，真气涣散，花毒越发越猛。她胸腹奇痛，遥遥望见杨过和小龙女并肩头而来，一个是英俊潇洒的美少年，一个是娇柔婀娜的俏姑娘，眼睛一花，模模糊糊的竟看到是自己刻骨相思的意中人陆展元，另一个却是他的妻子何沅君。她冲口而出，叫道：“展元，你好狠心...

据说，巧克力像花，有属于自己的一套爱情物语。牛奶巧克力代表热恋，白巧克力象征的是浓情，心形巧克力则代表「我心属于你」。 So you know, I hate chocolates. And it is quite annoying when everyone gets chocolates for you during performances because they assumed I would like it. 最糟糕的是，人家毕竟一片心意，你还不能骂他，更不能退货，最后只好偷偷摸摸找个时候趁机把这些巧克力分掉。 Am I complaining? I'm not. 都说了是心意， "Hutang emas boleh dibayar, hutang budi dibawa mati" ，哪里好意思 complain 酱多？ I'm not simply ranting about what I like/dislike. Instead, what I am talking about is embracing diversity. 这不是一个非黑即白的世界，人与人之间的尊重不能因为意识形态的不同而有所区别。 I was brought up in a conservative, traditional Chinese way, which emphasises a lot on conforming to social norms. Which is fine, at least for the first twenty years of my life. Conformity keeps things orderly. And I like order. Okay ignore the state of my room for now, in general I like order. But what these years of university education brought me new perspectives in keeping myself open to variants, and I am grateful for it. I have alw...

千万不要沉溺以下的恶性循环：明明是害怕孤单，没有勇气过一个人的生活，有个不完美的男人来凑数了，还嫌他粗鲁没格；明明是自己依赖成性，不想改变现状，却推说环境很艰困，只好委屈地忍着。 只要自己愿意回到「以自己为人生的轴心」的立场，就可以更独立勇敢地看清楚现状，并作出明智的决定，而且有足够的意愿与能力，为自己所做的决定负责。从此，不再过渡依赖一个人、一段关系、一项职位、一种借口，也就不会和任何不愉快的情绪作困兽之斗。到最后，自己要越来越清楚地知道：「我不会跟这个人永远在一起！」「我不会跟这个工作永远在一起！」「我不会跟这个借口永远在一起！」，最终学会放下這些 罣碍 ，面对最真实的自己。 菩提萨埵，依般若波罗密多故，心无罣碍；无罣碍故，无有恐怖。 Such Hindrance.

It's never too late to start over. If you weren't happy with yesterday, try something different today. Don't stay stuck. Do better. 马来同胞有一句话：Banyak udang banyak garam, banyak orang banyak ragam. 虾多盐多，人多花样多。 Quoting 《1Q84》，不要被表象迷惑，现实往往只有一个。 The reason why I never get sick of Orientation Camps is because it is a place where you seek the alter ago. 小朋友反正拢不识，青菜乎林北玩嘛不要紧。 不愧是个放松心情的好时机。

16 Ways To Identify Someone Who Is “Selectively Social” by Tenzin Woesel 1. You are very frank and loud at home or when you are with your friends but you turn into a timid shy ball when you are with people you hardly know. 

2. You are the entertainer in your friends circle but you hate it when your friends expect you to entertain in front of a crowd of strangers. 

3. You are very close to just one or two friends among your friends circle. With the rest of the friends in your circle, you are comfortable being you but you are not too close. 

 4. There’s an uncertainty when you agree to keep in touch with people. There are days when you want to talk to people yet there are days when you don’t want to talk to anyone.

 5. When your friends ask you to join them for an outing, the first thing you ask is; “Who all are going?” and the answer is always, always a BIG influence on your decision. 

6. You try your best to avoid having a conversation with people and hence, you stay...

Well this is the end of Week 13, the end of the instructional period in NUS. It was indeed very daring of me to leave Singapore during this week because I think everyone knows that this week is like the MOST CHIONG week in the semester. Essays, exam hints, etc. Well I really need a break off all these shit in the little red dot . Not that the little red dot is shit, but many people (and things they do) in the red dot is shit. 全部都带赛！ Anyway, I made a couple of so-called “brave decisions” in this trip. It isn’t really “brave” per se, but I guess you won’t make the same irrational choice as me if you were in my shoes: 1. Use AirBnB I know it is a bit DUH, but you know what, 凡是都有第一次的嘛…… 林北又不是没有钱，第一次送给它咯…… It’s pretty interesting anyway, I stayed with this old couple, who told me that they too were virgins in AirBnB and I was their first guest. They picked me up from the airport. And I left my laptop in the plane. So we went back to the airport again, and back home. And then f...

It's been a while since I am here. Two months of school sure has been very strenuous on me indeed. But it's okay I am surviving well. Many friends around me seem to have relationship difficulties these days. When I look at them I always thought about my own experience (note, it's singular , contrary to popular belief haha) more than two years ago. It was a difficult time for me, simply because I was inexperienced. I thought I had put all my effort into maintaining the relationship. Apparently She harboured other thoughts, which I didn't take into account, perhaps I was too naive and unrealistic. My Love by Hebe In June 2012 I wrote an article, and I think it still holds true today. Would like to share with you guys: 分手的理由千百种，只要其中有一方并不想分开，或没有被善待，任何原因都会被归纳为最烂的理由。例如： “我们个性不适合！” “我发觉自己配不上你！” “你会碰到更好的人！” “我的能力不够，无法给你幸福！” …… 以上听起来的确像是借口，但至少它不伤人，比起 “我从来没有爱过你！” 这个理由，要温和很多。  面对分手的残酷时刻，因为依依不舍而伤心难过的人，往往都忘了：当初开始相爱的时候，往往没有任何理由，就只是很单纯的喜欢而已。分手，其实也不需要任何理由，就只是很单纯的不爱了啊。若...

I felt so ashamed at myself when I realised my mistake: to laugh at Malaysia using bomohs to located the missing aeroplane. MH370 that is. In a modern society today we would find it amusing that our neighbours up north was not able to find an aeroplane after days of search and need to resort to spiritual means. Many, including myself, would find it a mockery. I was doing my essay, on some colonisation issues and was focusing on the history of British Malaya. Malaya in those days was a land of abundance, almost like paradise. One may even argue that the people then enjoyed more freedom than they had today in Malaysia, too. It led me to think of the development of cultures in the Malay Peninsula. Bomohs are a form of shamanism. It entails a cultural identity to the Malays, mostly the traditional ones. Of course many say that bomohs are un-Islamic, but then again they existed before the arrival of the religion, and transformed along with it. Instead of mocking at our broth...

生活里会遇到很多不公的事情，也会遇到很多让你无法接受的人。 与其抱怨别人没有给予我，不如我先多多给予人； 与其抱怨诚信缺失，不如播撒诚信； 与其抱怨人情淡薄，不如散发热情； 与其抱怨善良缺失，不如播下善种。 与其抱怨， 不如行动； 与其言教， 不如身行。

It's a two month hiatus! Wow. Life is mundanely exciting. Went to Canada and stayed at this Auntie Linda's home. Super nice~~~ And seen snow for the first time in my life. When it comes to postdating my posts I just get real lazy. So let's just talk about what happened these couple of days okay. Our Archi course was tasked to look for kiosks and be ready to design a better one along Selegie Road. The target I have in mind right now is the gao luck man. I have no idea why Buah Berangan, better known as 栗子, is called Gao Luck. But anyway I had to run around Singapore to find these people with woks and gas cylinders; it certainly isn't easy. There is this Chinese phrase called 跑地牛 . Who is 地牛 ? 地牛 , in modern context, means NEA officials. Do you know that selling fruits outside the MRT station requires a permit? Do you know that the Gao Luck man has to change his location every now and then to avoid them? Legal or not, it isn't my problem. But I would...

One month into school already. Want to die already haha. I am really surprised (and so is the rest of the studio) how I can remain so chill despite such tight deadlines. 10 more days and I WILL BE THROUGH! Design Module: ARGH 10 DAYS 10 DAYS CRAMMMMM! Structure Module: I have no idea what the lecturer is saying. Ideas Module: Angmoh lecturer. Also no idea what the lecturer is saying. But his slides are nice. Japanese Studies: The most interesting one so far. Angmoh lecturer teaching about 織田 信長 , 徳川 家康 and Battle of Sekigahara and all the Japanese history. Okay lah I'm a history buff, but memorising these names in English is SO NOT EASY. Islam Module: Hmmmm. Interesting too, but I don't what will be tested. Oh did I mention I join Chinese Drama? Pretty interesting, great place to practise Mandarin since Archi studio seems so..... foreign to me. Alcohol is good to keep your lines straight! 天天夜夜，日复一日，年复一年，直到永远。 Yeah lah yeah lah all wear RED ahahhaha ...

升職 的要訣是 放工前 不放棄工作 ，甚至 放棄放工 。 當然這也是 升仙 的要訣。

在冰冷的钢骨水泥中寻找人情味，其实还蛮困难的。 普世价值一直都在随着社会进步而改变，总有人抱着旧有观念继续生活着。 价值观不应分对错，但事实却往往相反。 看了 《老九》 后，我突然间觉得自己的理想，会不会跟社会会期待相悖呢？ 在社会寻求进步的时候，我们有没有办法挽留点什么个自己的后代？ 先人的筚路蓝缕 、 现代的日新月异 、 未来的无限憧憬 ，会 clash 的吗？ 今天早上在金文泰大牌442湿巴刹吃早餐，顺便走走。 Actually，巴刹的味道还蛮腥的，但至少我不觉得它臭。 而且，你不觉得巴刹的那股味道很有本地的feel，是一个属于 新加坡的味道 咩？ 猪肉uncle对我笑，我向他挥手致意。 Sîng-ì tsia̍h tsuí tinn. 誠意食水甜。 Inilah semangat bergotong-royong. 寻找迷失的人情味。

Ignorance is bliss? What if, however, such ignorance is built upon the extremely busy life you lead, and you neglect everything that happens around you? How is it blissful?

I don't like being judged. I'm pretty sure no one does too. What goes around comes around. I just gotta be careful next time. Should have stayed in the army. Seems like I have more freedom inside those barbed wires and green uniforms. Being probed about my past is sometimes, annoying. And sometimes, grieving, too.

I forgot what to write after a busy phone call. 「假如世界正常，你我就是 白痴 」